Skip to main content

Week 33: I'm only in this for the baby.

  People keep telling me to enjoy pregnancy while it lasts. I smile, I nod, but what I am really thinking is something more like this: Sure, I enjoy it as much as I can, but I want a lot of kids. I could be pregnant like EIGHT MORE TIMES. The miracle of life is great, but some of this just sucks, ok?
  Because it does. Sometimes pregnancy sucks. I don’t hate being pregnant, but I don’t always love it either. But guess what? I’m not pregnant for pregnancies sake. I haven’t longed for this time for years because I was super excited for killer nausea, having my hips decided to quit mid-step, and packing on weight all summer. Being pregnant is awesome because you get a baby at the end!
  The baby is the point. It is a blessing that God does not waste the waiting period that comes before the baby, and so pregnancy- in all it’s challenging glory- has brought with it many opportunities for growth and choosing to glorify God even when things suck. However when it is all said and done, in 6-8 more weeks we will have a baby.
  That’s what makes it worth it.  That’s what I thought about during the 3 or 4 months that I spent face down over the toilet bowl. That’s what I reminded myself of during the “Sarah looks super chubby but not at all pregnant” phase. That’s what I hung on to throughout that moment that would come every week or two where I felt like screaming, “What fresh new piece of torment is THIS? Seriously? THIS happens TOO?”  Every time I threw myself onto the bed (more and more gingerly over time…now I just kind of dramatically waddle-and-roll into bed) and moaned, “What is wrong with meeeee?” Arthur always gave me the same answer. He smiled and kissed my cheek and said, “You’re pregnant, and we get a baby after all of this.” And once in a while I would bury my face in a pillow and yell that the baby needed to give me a break because pregnancy sucks, but usually his reminder would force me to smile back and refocus on that: The tiny miracle that God has so graciously and generously blessed us with.
  So if you are pregnant and everything sucks, first of all, I’m sorry and I understand. More importantly, though, remember why this is worth it. Because it is, I promise.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pause Before You Post: Representing yourself responsibly and honestly online

  When I was about eleven years old I went to summer camp for the first time. Before my sister and I left, my mother talked to us about something. She explained that we needed to mindful of our behavior at camp, not only because it is important to be kind and respectful, but also because we would be a representation of both our family and Christ to the people around us. That stuck with me.   Now, with so many of us daily browsing and posting to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs such as this, our representation is no longer limited to the people we are around in person- it is far-reaching, even global at times. It is certainly a far more widespread representation of yourself to post on the internet than it is to say something in person; on the internet, the dozens or hundreds of people you are connected with may see it. That is an enormous audience.   I feel very strongly that we need to be mindful of that audience, of that representation,
Post a Comment
Read more

Just another 2am

Every once in a while there is a night when I am up far too late (ok, that part is pretty frequent) and something just hits me in the gut. It is usually something that saddens me deeply. It is usually something out in the world that I have no control over, something that is wrong, something that I wish I could right. Tonight it is no large thing. There is no catastrophic tragedy weighing on my heart tonight. It is just little things. Two little things hurt tonight, inconsequential though they may be. The first is a poor choice of words. Someone referred to Christ's sacrifice as empathetic- it may be unintentional, or an attempt to put a new spin on the way we perceive Jesus, but there is no need for a new spin. "Empathetic" hardly does my Savior's perfect sacrifice justice. Empathy is passion, emotion. But the Bible says Jesus went to the cross because He LOVED us, and the Bible describes love as a choice. The perfect God of the universe CHOOSING to LOVE us in our
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting Adventures: Already, I'm Wrong

  I lay in bed five days ago, staring up at the dark shapes that the shadows made on the ceiling. It was the fourth night since Judah had been born, and I was realizing something: Already, I am wrong.   Before our first child was born- this tiny blessing that we have had for just over a week now- I was certain of many things. I made plans. I confidently stated that our child would never co-sleep with my husband and I, because it was just too scary- and besides, we had a perfectly good cradle for him to sleep in instead. And yet now I found myself cuddled up beside the most precious human being I had ever seen, as he slept deeply (and safely) between Arthur and I in our bed.  Before he was born, I said I’d never give Judah formula. And while I am sticking with breastfeeding, I cannot deny the fact that at 4am three days into motherhood I cried and wanted to give up.     I have realized in these short nine days of Judah’s life that many of the things I was certain of before he was born
Post a Comment
Read more