Sarah Anne I Am

  ...But thanks for asking.   It actually doesn't bother me when people ask if I'm pregnant. I get it- I'm constantly talking about how I want a million children (or, more realistically, 6-8), so it makes sense that people are a little confused. Hasn't it been like, almost three years since I had my last baby? Geez. What is the deal?   This is the deal.   We just haven't been able to. God allowed circumstances in our life that made it clearly unwise to try for a third child. And I hated it. Truthfully, I had a really terrible, self-pitying attitude about it during most of that time. Which was sin, and God has been gracious to forgive me. But aside from my sinful attitude, it was also just really, really hard for me.   I was sad. It was painful to wait. It was hard to smile and casually respond to questions like, "Are you ready for another?" with "Yes, but it's not the right time yet."   Often I got well-meaning responses like, "

Oh, hey, it's been a while. I know. My bad.   So, I asked friends on my Instagram account recently about topics they'd be interested in seeing me blog about. Almost everyone wanted to hear about how and why we now sleep on floor beds like wierdos. So let's do this thang.   In high school and early adulthood I slept a variety of terrible mattresses (Red Barn, anyone?) and my back hurt, but I didn't really care, so I just moved on with my life. My health was no great concern to me. I was happily living off of Dr. Pepper, cottage cheese, and avocados- clearly, I didn't know what I was doing.   After Arthur and I got married, we got a mattress that we really loved. Two babies later, though, and not only had the mattress seen better days (there was a permanent valley were my huge pregnant body had been sleeping), so had my body. Pregnancies (with big babies), a rollercoaster and weight gain/loss, nursing, co-sleeping (read: sleeping in crazy positions to keep your bab