Skip to main content

Old Men in Goodwill and the Stories They Tell

  Today I was at Goodwill when an older man came up and struck up a conversation. Indicating the bike helmet I was looking at, he asked, “Do you ride a scooter?”


  “No, just a bike. Not a motorcycle or anything, just a regular bike.”


  He looked like an innocent man in his fifties or sixties who was lonely for conversation. There were plenty of people around and he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable as our conversation continued.


  “I’ve been riding a motorcycle since I was eleven years old,” he said. I told him that was cool. He pulled up the pants leg of his shorts slightly, showing me the twisted, gnarled skin. “I spent four weeks in Harborview when this happened,” he said.


  “Ow! Oh my goodness!” I commented, and he- seemingly happy for a captive audience- continued.


  “I was riding home one night, and some nice person had lost their dark brown couch in the middle of the freeway. I was lucky enough to hit it, and when I crashed the gasoline spilled on my leg and burned it clear to the bone.”


  As I expressed that I was sorry that had happened, he showed me the necklace he was wearing, “See this little plastic blue pig? I wear this because I have six layers of pig flesh on my leg now.”


  And then an employee asked me a question, and when I turned back to the man, he was gone.


  Strange the things that happen in Goodwill.


  I was there looking for a Scrabble board- I reeeally want the Scrabble pieces, so if anyone has a set they don’t want, let me know.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I love you so much, and I am completely devoted to you, and I know that you’re the man God had for me to marry- BUT, even if none of that was true, there are still hundreds of good reasons for me to marry you. And this fudge is two of them. My eternal thankfulness when Arthur made me fudge

Conspiracy Theories

  I personally am not someone who has any great number of conspiracy theories. Yes, when a sudden Swine Flu epidemic broke out shortly after Obama was elected as president, I did wonder if the man-made disease had been released on-command.   But come on, when it comes to Obama, politics, and the American government, I am most certainly not the only suspicious person around.   There are lots of conspiracy theories, like the ones you learn about when you watch National Treasure. But the kind of conspiracy theories I’m prone to come up with are slightly less political and exciting.   I tend to watch my sister take a long drink from MY glass of water, and then say suddenly, “I see what you’re doing! You’re passive-aggressively trying to kill me by drinking my water, and slowly removing everything I need to live!” This is the sort of comment that leads to my sister’s laughter and to jokes about being passive-aggressive between a ninth grade boy and I, as he is constantly asking me for water...

22. What Makes You Different?

First of all, I was created unique from anyone who has ever lived or ever will live. Also, I like to make up really strange dance moves. Dancing horribly is something I am remarkably good at. I have treed a squirrel. Like, without the help of a hunting dog- just treed it on my own. I chased it for a few minutes, chirping at it in what I hoped was a macho-squirrel manner, until it finally became afraid for it’s life. I can sing like a male opera singer. Quite well, believe it or not. It’s surprisingly addictive, and when I start doing it subconsciously in public places things can get very awkward very fast. However, it takes a lot to embarass me. I try to make a habit or embarassing myself regularly enough that embarassment doesn’t put a damper on my day. I have this wonderful ability to talk in a very annoying, squeaky voice- lots of people can do this, but I can laugh in that voice, and the sound of it makes me laugh harder, and so forth. It’s great. I can go fr...