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Dad: Is that one guy going to be there?
Me: No, I don’t think so.
Dad: Why not?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe he’s working, maybe he doesn’t want to, maybe he’s secretly in another country.
Dad: Well, I don’t think he’s in another country, I was just talking to his dad about him last week.
Me: Exactly! His dad is trying to cover for him! He’s probably illegally importing ivory. He’s probably killing elephants in Africa as we speak.
Dad: I think it’s dark in Africa right now.
Me: Night is the perfect time to illegally kill elephants.
Dad: You just spotlight them, huh?
Me: Yep, and they freeze, just like deer.
Dad: Oh, you have quite the imagination.

My father and I talking on the phone

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