Sarah Anne I Am

  This is like the sixth time that I've tried to write a post in response to an article that I read online. In the past, I've never actually posted anything, because I get so worked up about the topic that my indignation removes my ability to properly form sentences.   And I was about to try again, because I am sick and tired of the way my generation views adulthood, marriage, parenthood, careers, finances, and...well, just about everything. Our entitlement makes me sick. Our selfishness knows no bounds. I am embarrassed to tell people that I'm twenty-three, because of the immature, irresponsible, self-centered lifestyle that is so glorified and promoted by many people my age. I have spent the past ten years of my life trying to prove my birthdays wrong.   But what will another drop in the massive bucket that is the (ugh) "blogosphere" really do? Maybe a little. Maybe a lot. Honestly, with an unpopular viewpoint like mine, maybe nothing. And as I was despairing, ...

  Three years ago yesterday I met a man BETTER than the man of my dreams. It wasn't love at first sight, it was "Hmm...maybe" at first sight, and the love followed shortly thereafter.   I remember the moment I met him. It wasn't a lightning bolt moment. The earth didn't stand still while all the birds sang a shining rendition of Beethoven's fifth, or anything like that. But I do remember.   There are lots of little moments like that that stand out clearly in my mind: Shaking his hand. Sitting across the hall from him while he played guitar. The conversation in which I "casually" mentioned wanting "like" twelve kids, and he said that sounded awesome, because he is polite, but I took it to mean that he'd be down with actually literally being the father of twelve children. (Note: We currently do not plan on having that many babies. Stop panicking.)   But before I get into all of the beautiful ways that God worked in the beginning ...

   Yesterday afternoon someone walked into Seattle Pacific University and began firing a gun. You've probably heard about it by now. There are countless articles flying around the internet, and the reason I am choosing to share this is simple: It is so full of hope.   What you are about to read was written by a young man named Ben Higashi. He is a student at SPU, and his words moved me to tears. He chose to share his experience throughout the events of yesterday afternoon, and I am so thankful that he did, as his perspective of clear, Christ-centered hope is a refreshing one in the light of genuine tragedy.   I am sharing these words with his permission. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ The SPU Shooting   I have so much to say and no idea where to start. When I first heard the news, when I was told we were in lockdown, I didn’t know what to expect. We’d been in lockdown before; it had just be...

   At 5:56pm my little family was in our not-totally-clean-but-passably-clean kitchen. My husband stands at the stove cooking chicken, our baby is army crawling around on the floor with his toys, and I am making coffee- because, you know, we're parents. And being parents means we drink coffee anytime we actually need to be around people, and/or capable of coherent speech, and/or in an upright position. It was relatively peaceful, or at least relatively quiet. And then I looked at the clock.   It is always a bad idea to look at the clock. I think of clocks much like a Glade air freshener that automatically releases scent when you walk in a room, except clocks automatically release cortisol into my bloodstream when I look directly at them.   "It's four minutes to six."   These were the words that sprang us all into action- Arthur heading out to church, I packing the diaper bag with baby food and grabbing a sweatshirt, Judah utilizing the 47 seconds I was gon...

Every once in a while there is a night when I am up far too late (ok, that part is pretty frequent) and something just hits me in the gut. It is usually something that saddens me deeply. It is usually something out in the world that I have no control over, something that is wrong, something that I wish I could right. Tonight it is no large thing. There is no catastrophic tragedy weighing on my heart tonight. It is just little things. Two little things hurt tonight, inconsequential though they may be. The first is a poor choice of words. Someone referred to Christ's sacrifice as empathetic- it may be unintentional, or an attempt to put a new spin on the way we perceive Jesus, but there is no need for a new spin. "Empathetic" hardly does my Savior's perfect sacrifice justice. Empathy is passion, emotion. But the Bible says Jesus went to the cross because He LOVED us, and the Bible describes love as a choice. The perfect God of the universe CHOOSING to LOVE us in our...

  Yesterday morning I woke up with an admirable amount of ambition.   Ok, I thought to myself, Let's do this! I'll take a quick shower, get us both dressed and fed, and we'll get out the door! We'll visit the midwife, take Chloe coffee, pick up prescriptions...that will still leave us plenty of time to come home, fold laundry, bake cookies, and make dinner before we head off to Life Group! And then reality struck.   I look back on yesterday-morning-Sarah the way one might look at a child who says they want to be a dinosaur when they grow up: Aw, that's sweet. They actually think that's possible.   Nothing on my to-do list got done. Instead, I spent my day trying to trick my son into going to sleep. He's teething again, and it's worse than before- and somehow, the sweet escape of sleep has become his greatest enemy. Where three days ago my child would lay down in his crib and go peacefully to sleep, now he looks at me suspiciously just for carrying h...

  When I was about eleven years old I went to summer camp for the first time. Before my sister and I left, my mother talked to us about something. She explained that we needed to mindful of our behavior at camp, not only because it is important to be kind and respectful, but also because we would be a representation of both our family and Christ to the people around us. That stuck with me.   Now, with so many of us daily browsing and posting to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs such as this, our representation is no longer limited to the people we are around in person- it is far-reaching, even global at times. It is certainly a far more widespread representation of yourself to post on the internet than it is to say something in person; on the internet, the dozens or hundreds of people you are connected with may see it. That is an enormous audience.   I feel very strongly that we need to be mindful of that audience, of that re...