Three Years

  Three years ago yesterday I met a man BETTER than the man of my dreams. It wasn't love at first sight, it was "Hmm...maybe" at first sight, and the love followed shortly thereafter.

  I remember the moment I met him. It wasn't a lightning bolt moment. The earth didn't stand still while all the birds sang a shining rendition of Beethoven's fifth, or anything like that. But I do remember.

  There are lots of little moments like that that stand out clearly in my mind: Shaking his hand. Sitting across the hall from him while he played guitar. The conversation in which I "casually" mentioned wanting "like" twelve kids, and he said that sounded awesome, because he is polite, but I took it to mean that he'd be down with actually literally being the father of twelve children. (Note: We currently do not plan on having that many babies. Stop panicking.)

  But before I get into all of the beautiful ways that God worked in the beginning of our relationship, I need to give you some background. I feel I owe this to those of you who aren't dating right now, who are waiting, who are praying, holding to high standards, and demanding righteousness of themselves in the long and sometimes lonely wait for a God-glorifying relationship. I want to take a moment to encourage you.

  It is hard. I remember. I understand. I was there.

  A month before I met Arthur I spent hours (yes, consecutive HOURS) sobbing in my kitchen because I so desperately longed for a husband. I was only twenty, yet already I had longed for years to be married, and young age wasn't making the wait any easier. There were no potential guys in my line of sight. Trust me, I had scoured my friends, acquaintances, second-cousins of the check-out clerk at the grocery store- everyone I could think of- for a guy I could consider a serious possibility. All roads led to dead-ends, and it was discouraging.

  But I had no idea at the time that God was doing an important work in my heart as He prepared me to depend more fully on Him in each area of my life, and to focus on Him instead of my own desires, fears, and goals. There was a breaking down of Sarah, yes, and it was painful. But it allowed a merciful, glorious building up of Christ in my life, and focused my heart on seeking after my Lord instead of myself. It was a time of necessary, sanctifying heartache that allowed me to glorify my great God a little more each day.

  The waiting was hard. But the waiting was worth it.

  So we met, Arthur and I- we shook hands, exchanged names, yet no fireworks went off in the background. He wasn't on a white horse. (We were indoors, and riding horses indoors is exceptionally impractical.) It wasn't magical. It didn't need to be. Disney lies to us, ladies- true love doesn't require elaborate circumstances. True love just requires a gracious God Who has made our heart alive and able to choose to love another.

  Over the course of the next five days Arthur and I got to know one another as much as one can in five days. So not terribly well, but just well enough to know that we really, really liked each other. But we were practical about it. Or at least, as practical as two smitten people can be.

  I decided to talk to him about my feelings for him because they were driving me to distraction, so I (for only the second time in my entire life) straight-up told a guy how I felt about him. I believe my exact words were "So...I have feelings for you." So eloquent! So original! Such poetry as the world has never heard before! I know, I'm Shakespearean in my delivery, to say the least.

  His response was the stare at the carpet for THE LONGEST FIVE SECONDS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE and say "So, me too." I know, I know, we're sickeningly cute in our affection for each other! We really should have toned it down.

  We decided to take things really, really slow and be very prayerful and mindful of any potential decision to date, as we only wanted to start dating with the intention of pursuing marriage. Of course, "let's take things slow" sounded like a great idea. It seemed so wise. But as we constantly (and at least in my case, fervently, and often tearfully) prayed about it, things progressed at break-neck speed. It was terrifying. It was exciting, but it was terrifying, because we were so serious about each other that it was clear our entire lives were about to change. Yet God gave us a peace that truly surpassed all understanding, so we proceeded with confidence.

 And three weeks after we met, we started dating.

 And three weeks after we started dating, we were talking about whether or not we wanted to get wedding ring tattoos when we got married. (Yes, we wanted to. No, we didn't get them.)

  It could qualify as a whirlwind romance, I suppose, but it was also a meticulously managed romance. We didn't want to be thoughtlessly swept off our feet. We wanted to actually know what we were getting into. So we talked about the big stuff right away. Before we even began dating we drove around for two hours just talking. We shared our testimonies with one another. We asked questions. We discussed our views on finances, careers, children, ministry, family, fidelity, alcohol, and decision making. (More on all that later. It deserves it's own post.)

  After dating for less than nine months, Arthur asked me to marry him. It wasn't fancy. It wasn't movie material. And you know what? I love that. I love the simplicity of it all. When we started dating, it wasn't elaborate...we just sort of started dating, because we genuinely wanted to follow where God seemed to be so clearly leading us.

  When we got engaged, Arthur said, "So, there's something I've been meaning to ask you, and that's if you would marry me." I said yes, and he had to ask me to stop hugging him for a minute so that he could give me the ring. It was simple. There was no fanfare. Our fanfare was walking around the pond talking about how richly our God had blessed us with one another. I like that. It's not for everyone, but it was right for us.

  Nine months after our engagement, when we'd been together for less than a year and a half, we got married. Marriage- oh man, I could talk about marriage for hours. Pages, in this context, I suppose. I love marriage. God designed an incredible thing when He made marriage. (Although, let's be honest, everything God designed is incredible.)

  Three weeks into marriage we got pregnant with our son, Judah. He wasn't an "oops baby." We were excited to have kids. Terrified out of our minds? Sure. But also excited. And so began the great adventure of parenthood just as we were setting off on the great adventure of marriage. God taught us a lot in those first few months of both, but that too deserves it's own post.

  And that's it, folks, that's our love story. So far. The mightily condensed and still kind-of-too-long-for-most-people-to-take-the-time-to-read version. It's not a Disney movie. I wouldn't want it to be. It's just two people that God put together to glorify Himself as we encourage one another in righteousness. It's simple. It's hard work. It's been the best three years of my life. The most trial-filled, joy-filled, sanctifying three years of my life.

  To God be the glory.
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  P.S.  Thank you for allowing me to indulge in using an extraordinarily large amount of parentheses in this post. While I realize you didn't really have a choice in whether or not I so lavishly utilized this pet punctuation of mine, I appreciate you bearing it regardless. Thank you. You are wonderful. Next time I will attempt to exercise more self-control.