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Monday, September 22nd, 2008
"The Truth"

 

The interesting thing about life is that it’s never the same as it used to
be. It is beautiful that every day really is new, and different, and
changing.
Maybe the real purpose behind life is this…sitting up late, listening to
music that’s gentle, and writing out things you don’t understand in an
attempt to sort everything out.

This summer a lot happened. I can’t begin to explain it, because I don’t
understand it all and I haven’t even begun to process what it all means.
If in our eyes are the stories of our lives, then I have yet to learn how to
read my own eyes…

This summer is when things changed. Circumstances carefully layed into place
by Someone far more insightful than myself all led up to a night that
changed nearly everything about me…when someone I hardly knew told me they
knew everything- all of the secrets that I’d hid, the precious shadows I
held still- and that night everything fell down.
Walls crumbled and my heart melted in the Face of a love stronger than my
own defenses. I began to let it out, the months of open wounds began to
heal, and I remembered to love my life simply because I had it.

Too many people who I love too deeply have been hurting and never said
anything…sometimes we find out too late and there’s nothing to do but love
them. Even when we can help them, love is the most important gift to be
given.
I have started to understand how God loves us, how He loves me- it’s as
simple as opening your arms and accepting everything that makes up who they
are, beautiful or not. It’s as simple as pressing your fingertips against
the puncture wounds that are left behind, as simple as singing when the
night is too dark to believe in the morning.
It’s this kind of love that can sometimes make the difference between tears
that fall alone and unnoticed, and the tears that fall on someone else’s
face as they stand with you. Sometimes we can be that other face, and
sometimes we need to be the one crying.

I guess this is my confession. My confession that I hid things for a time
that felt like forever, but wasn’t, and that now things are changing and I
just want to be honest for once. I just want to let my heart heal and I want
to be there crying with you whenever you need me to be that person.
I’ve had a few people who found their way inside the rooms where I hid the
darkness, and they lit those rooms with candles. If you ever need something
to break up the shadows, I will bring candles.

I don’t know who I wrote this for…but I think it was for someone.

 

 

[I found this in an old email file of mine and thought it was worth posting.]

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