I am so sick of hearing things like "He says he loves me but then he doesn’t understand me I guess we’re just not meant to be together" and "If you don’t answer when I call you then I guess you aren’t who I thought you were so you’re getting what you deserve" and "I don’t get why we go back and forth all the time why can’t we just be together always but I guess this is just life and true love hurts."
FIRST OF ALL, use commas!
Secondly, if you say things like this please don’t get offended and storm away from this blog entry in a huff. Please just hear me out.
I am not an expert on love. I am not an expert on anything, actually, but I’ve had a lot of minor experiances in a wide range of situations, some of which will probably make it into the biographical movie someone will surely make about me eventually. (I’m kidding. I doubt that will happen.) But here is (a small part of) my opinion on love.
1. People can love you without understanding you. I know this is true because there are dozens of people that I love very much that I do not understand at all. I don’t get why they make those choices, date those people, pay money for leg warmers (half-pants) or think that vampires are attractive. I love my boyfriend, but I do not understand why he’s under the delusion that green olives taste good. He feel the same way about me in regards to black olives. And guess what? That’s ok.
Don’t write off love because someone doesn’t understand you.
2. You’re right. You probably aren’t “meant to be” with the boy you have a crush on in Jr. High, or High School. Maybe not even in college. Yes, High School sweethearts living happily ever after DOES happen, but not to everyone. You don’t have to be destined for marriage in order to care about someone. But if you can’t see yourself marrying them, it’s probably worth it to save you both some heartache and not date them.
3. If you thought he was perfect, then no, you didn’t really know who he was. My boyfriend tells me he wouldn’t change a single thing about me. I believe him, and I’m glad, but if I could change things about myself with the snap of my fingers, I totally would. I’d make myself more patient, sensitive to other people’s feelings, punctual, relaxed, and a little skinnier, for starters. But the reality is that I am an imperfect human being just like everyone else, and if someone can’t love me imperfections and all, then they really can’t love me.
4. An on-again-off-again relationship isn’t so much a relationship as it is indecision. If you can’t stay together long enough to find out how hard real relationships with real people can be, then you haven’t exactly built a connection strong enough to last.
5. True love doesn’t hurt you- people hurt you. When you’re in love with a guy, YES, he will inadvertantly hurt you. He will make you cry. And you know what, you will hurt him too. It’s going to happen. But the bulk of love is not pain. Love produces so much joy that it may be impossible to explain it, and that joy will outshine the times when you get hurt. I am not an optimist, but I do believe that while a lot of things in life are not easy- including love- they are absolutely worth it.
One more thing- please, please, PLEASE stop justifying your fights with your crush by sighing and saying, “Well, love is a battlefield.”
I think love IS a battlefield, but not one on which you are fighting against the person you claim to love. Yes, you’ll have arguments, but you are not fighting AGAINST the one you’re in love with. You are standing side by side fighting against your selfishness so that you can love the other better.
Alright, rant over. As you were.
When I was about eleven years old I went to summer camp for the first time. Before my sister and I left, my mother talked to us about something. She explained that we needed to mindful of our behavior at camp, not only because it is important to be kind and respectful, but also because we would be a representation of both our family and Christ to the people around us. That stuck with me. Now, with so many of us daily browsing and posting to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs such as this, our representation is no longer limited to the people we are around in person- it is far-reaching, even global at times. It is certainly a far more widespread representation of yourself to post on the internet than it is to say something in person; on the internet, the dozens or hundreds of people you are connected with may see it. That is an enormous audience. I feel very strongly that we need to be mindful of that audience, of that representation,
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