Sarah Anne I Am

Today I am visiting my family. The oldest of my brothers is seventeen. He told me two days ago that he missed me, and I should come over. I can’t say no to a seventeen year old that asks for my time. Seventeen was such an incredibly rough year for me, and I remember how seventeen feels all too well. And so off I go. I am wearing my husband’s sweater, which is just big enough to fit over my ever-expanding baby bump without stretching the material too much. I am also wearing one of his scarves, and carrying my supply of food in a bag of his. I am glad he is so good at sharing, because I am great at being shared with. The bus I am on- the second of four busses that will eventually take me to my parents house- is on I-5, and it is almost downtown. When on a bus that is approaching downtown Seattle, you have a vantage point that you don’t often have when in a car on this same stretch of freeway. Sitting on the bus, I am high enough to see down over the guardrails on t...

  I spent almost an hour on the phone with my incredible 8-year-old brother Levi today. Here’s what he had to say . "I love pasta. I like it with tomatoes and cheese, and olives on the side." Me : When the baby is born we will take pictures of you and it together. Levi: Oh, those will be so cute! "You and Arthur can come to my house and I will teach you how to make coffeecake. It takes flour and milk and eggs, and other ingredients. The hard part is putting it in the oven, and testing it to see if it is done or if it needs three more minutes." Me : You are the cutest kid. Levi: Yes I am. Me: By the time it’s your birthday, in July, my tummy will be so big! Levi: Oh yeah! Will the baby pop out at my party? Me: Will you be a great uncle? Levi: OF COURSE! "If you want to visit me, don’t come on Friday. I will be gone on Friday. Also, I can’t do school on Friday because I will be gone. Sorry ‘bout that." "When I visit you I will b...

I love you so much, and I am completely devoted to you, and I know that you’re the man God had for me to marry- BUT, even if none of that was true, there are still hundreds of good reasons for me to marry you. And this fudge is two of them. My eternal thankfulness when Arthur made me fudge

  I just realized that my last few posts have enumerated many of the less-than-delightful side effects of pregnancy.   So I want to take a moment to list off some of the things that this pregnancy has improved- improved to the point where I feel I am verging on superhuman.    Weight Loss : That’s right- LOSS. Turns out, two solid months of non-stop nausea and vomiting on a eerily regular schedule can actually lead to dropping a few pounds. Or almost ten pounds, in my case.   Now I am entering the healthy weight gain stage, but that does not lessen the feeling of success I have after the first trimester. Human Noise Machine: Granted, the noises I can produce at inhuman volumes are a select few- namely, belching and uncontrollable sobbing- but boy, if a 7th grade boy challenges me to a belch-off, I can SO win that. And if I get lost in the wilderness, I will easily be found by the sound of hormonal wailing over nothing.   Which brings me to…   Never Get Lost in the Wildernes...

  I believe that God’s grace is actually sufficient.   For everyone. And everything. No matter how horrible, how unimaginably cruel, how disgusting. Sin is sin. I am no better than a rapist. I am no better than a murderer. I am no better than anyone else. I feel the full weight of that as I type it- the fact that I am not worth more than someone who would rape an innocent human being is horrifying to me. And yet it is true. My sins are no more acceptable than that.   And I do not think that it is alright for me to hate someone because their sin is more horrifying to me than my own sin. First of all, my own sin should disgust me- it is, after all, dirty and ugly and real- and I should fully realize that I am only free from it NOT BY OWN MERIT but by the grace of God.   I am not free from my sins because I had a good upbringing. It’s not because I go to church. It’s not because I vote right or help old ladies at the grocery store or am nice to people. It’s becau...

Proverbs this morning was a barrage of much-needed reminders. Proverbs 19:1-2, 5, 11, 16, 20, 22 NASB “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool. Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, And he who hurries his footsteps errs. A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who tells lies will not escape. A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, But he who is careless of conduct will die. Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. What is desirable in a man is his kindness, And it is better to be a poor man than a liar.” Alright, Lord. Can’t argue with that. Consider my tongue held and my anger calmed. Man, I love the Word of God.

Dear status update, dear Facebook; here I make a solemn vow That throughout my lovely married life some things I’ll not allow No detailed play-by-play of cleaning; no album of food I cook No, my menial daily details shall not be here when you look I won’t burden you with descriptions of how much mold I’ve seen Nor bore with exclamations of the stores to which I’ve been I’ll not brag of groceries carried through the snow, uphill both ways I’ll refrain from sharing every humorous thing my husband says Should I learn that Christmas trees can be re-purposed in a stew If I shout of this finding, dear Facebook, it will not be to you Though my laundry skill may keep even one sock from escaping Or I may once receive an honorary Nobel prize for decorating Though I may someday be elected as the president of water-filtering Or add to the English language quaint words such as “Milkering” (The act of filtering milk- but you must have known that) I stil...