Conspiracy Theories

  The familar thump thump thump of rap music came from the car next to mine as I pulled up the red light.
  There were two guys in the car, both probably about my age- nineteen or twenty. The guy in the passenger seat sat there looking bored, but the driver- now, he was getting his cool on.
  For those of you who HAVEN’T tried to show off your hip-hop dance skills while sitting down, let me tell you, it doesn’t look easy. This young man had to keep his foot firmly on the brake lest he destroy the bumper of the car in front of him, while taking his hands off the wheel and gesturing broadly. Add in the fact that the white sweatshirt he was wearing was about two sizes too big for him, and he had to keep the hood of it placed just-so atop his billcap, and perhaps you can begin to understand the skill level required to dance while sitting at a red light.
  It was amusing, let’s just say that.
  I had just taken this all in when he turned and saw me watching him. I laughed, not intending to, but in that moment of him being caught in his silly attempt to be cool I couldn’t stop myself. And as soon as he saw me begin to smile as my laugh escaped, he laughed too, acknowledging that yes- we really are all just kids trying to be what we dreamed we’d be when we were younger.
  The light turned green, and we merged onto seperate lanes of the dark freeway, lit by streetlights and the stars in the windows of Seattle.
  And was nice to know as I drove home that there is someone else out there who tries to be what they once dreamt of being, yet knows that really…we are laughable. We are laughable in our attempts to be the greatest thing to walk the earth, when we have been born after Jesus and Ghandi and Mother Theresa and Paris Hilton and whomever else the world has deemed great. We are laughable in the roles we play, trying to fill shoes not meant to fit our feet- but it is good to laugh, good to laugh at ourselves, good to realize that we are still just children who desperately need a Father.