Sarah Anne I Am

  Yesterday morning I woke up with an admirable amount of ambition.   Ok, I thought to myself, Let's do this! I'll take a quick shower, get us both dressed and fed, and we'll get out the door! We'll visit the midwife, take Chloe coffee, pick up prescriptions...that will still leave us plenty of time to come home, fold laundry, bake cookies, and make dinner before we head off to Life Group! And then reality struck.   I look back on yesterday-morning-Sarah the way one might look at a child who says they want to be a dinosaur when they grow up: Aw, that's sweet. They actually think that's possible.   Nothing on my to-do list got done. Instead, I spent my day trying to trick my son into going to sleep. He's teething again, and it's worse than before- and somehow, the sweet escape of sleep has become his greatest enemy. Where three days ago my child would lay down in his crib and go peacefully to sleep, now he looks at me suspiciously just for carrying h...

  When I was about eleven years old I went to summer camp for the first time. Before my sister and I left, my mother talked to us about something. She explained that we needed to mindful of our behavior at camp, not only because it is important to be kind and respectful, but also because we would be a representation of both our family and Christ to the people around us. That stuck with me.   Now, with so many of us daily browsing and posting to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs such as this, our representation is no longer limited to the people we are around in person- it is far-reaching, even global at times. It is certainly a far more widespread representation of yourself to post on the internet than it is to say something in person; on the internet, the dozens or hundreds of people you are connected with may see it. That is an enormous audience.   I feel very strongly that we need to be mindful of that audience, of that re...

When I was a little girl, just old enough to have outgrown taking a nap each day, my mother began something called "quiet time." It was exactly what it sounds like- just a period of time each afternoon when I was to sit on my bed and be...quiet. My Mama would turn off the light and draw closed the curtains, close me bedroom door, and leave me so that SHE could have some quiet time as well. I was allowed to read or play on my bed, but it had to be done quietly. Well here I am, a mama myself. I am sitting in the car which is parked outside out apartment. We have been here for a half an hour or more. My sweet son, exhausted from a morning of hissy fits and meltdowns, is sleeping in this carseat on the backseat. So as not to disturb the nap that he is FINALLY taking, we sit here, quiet. I don't mind. I am loving this quiet moment myself, forcibly shut away from the dishes that need to be washed, the laundry that needs to be folded, and the dozen other things in my home th...

I am lying awake in bed at 4am as I far too often do nowadays, and my mind is full. I found myself feeling torn about something I did not expect, and as I began to examine my heart and search out the root of this feeling, I found an unpleasant surprise. The culprit of my problem was not an unfamiliar one. Like so many things I have noticed in myself lately- and really, throughout my life- it was simply a matter of pride. My pride is an ugly beast. It rises up to greet me from dark corners of my heart that I wish did not exist. While I am a new creation, constantly being transformed, continually being sanctified...still, with sad frequency, I stumble. For me, that stumbling often looks like pride. I have no excuse. I am not pretending that this ugly beast overtakes me against my will. No, I have a choice in the matter. And I choose it. That is the truly tragic part - not only am I prideful, I CHOOSE to be prideful. I choose to give in to the temptation to think far too much of myself, t...

   Our little family moved into this sweet, two-bedroom townhome two months ago, at the beginning of November. When we moved, my goal was to be all settled in by Thanksgiving. We were not. So my new goal was to be all settled in by Christmas. We weren't by then, either.   So my NEW new goal is this: I am going to pace myself. I will try to get a little done every day...and I will be satisfied with the little. Even if it takes me a month of Sundays to get one closet organized, I will not fret. I will not (anymore) go to bed stressed and overwhelmed by something as inconsequential as a closet, nor will I (again) stay up till four in the morning organizing that closet.   Progress is progress. Even if it is just a little progress, it is still progress. Even if that progress looks like things getting messier before they can get cleaner, it is still progress. ANY progress is progress!    There is a trick I discovered when I was 38 weeks pregnant. As I was ...

  When I decided to start a new blog several nights ago as I lay awake in bed, I debated what to call it.   I used to use the name Turns Like The Ocean- I was young, and tumultuous, full of emotions and dreams. But I am not that girl anymore. I am more grown up, I have more self-control, I am more dependent on the Lord and less tossed about by the world.   My previous blog was called The Abstract of Me. A friend suggested it when I was fifteen, because I was really into abstract art, and really...well, weird. I was weird. And I loved it, I embraced it; I was proud of how unique and strange and unexpected I was. And while I am still proud of being unique, I am not so much that girl anymore, either. I am softer, gentler- maybe not soft or gentle, but not as bizarre as I once was.   So I began to think about who I am NOW. I have changed so much in the past three years that at times I hardly recognize myself. All of the change has been good, very good! Yet I feel I am...

Link: Enough So I found a blog written by someone I don’t know, but seem to have much in common with. And I share this because it encouraged me, as I lie awake in bed fighting the urge to go clean my bathroom, which feels more important than sleep tonight. I am staying in bed, because I am in sore need of a full night of sleep, and because I don’t want to fall into the trap of believing that a clean house is more important than these 1am cuddles with my baby, while he still is a baby. Mothers, do not be discouraged. Take heart. Soak in the sweet, quiet moments with your children, even it is simply holding them while they cry over something you cannot fix. Rejoice in them. Praise God for them. Choose to ignore your dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty hair…love the moments you have with your beautiful gift from God. I say this as much to remind myself as to encourage you.