So my NEW new goal is this: I am going to pace myself. I will try to get a little done every day...and I will be satisfied with the little. Even if it takes me a month of Sundays to get one closet organized, I will not fret. I will not (anymore) go to bed stressed and overwhelmed by something as inconsequential as a closet, nor will I (again) stay up till four in the morning organizing that closet.
Progress is progress. Even if it is just a little progress, it is still progress. Even if that progress looks like things getting messier before they can get cleaner, it is still progress. ANY progress is progress!
There is a trick I discovered when I was 38 weeks pregnant. As I was eagerly (read: impatiently) awaiting the birth of my child, I kept myself busy getting things done that I knew I wouldn't do after he was born. I finally ordered prints of our wedding photos, sorted through baby clothes, cleaned out the closets. (I have a thing about closets being perfect. Well, I have a thing about lots of things being perfect. It borders on crazy.)
And every morning I asked myself this question: If I went into labor tonight, what is the ONE THING I would REALLY WISH I had gotten done today?
Then I did that thing.
Often it was something kind of silly, like cleaning off the top of my dresser. But oh man, was I thankful I'd done that. Because I spent pretty much the first month of Judah's life sitting in bed nursing him non-stop, and looking up to see a a clean dresser top with a candle and my favorite jewelry box was a small thing that made a huge difference in the chaos.
The day before I went into labor, that one thing was to take a long walk. I did. The day that I woke up at 3am having contractions, that one thing was I DO NOT CARE WHAT GETS DONE TODAY I JUST WANT THIS BABY TO HURRY UP AND GET OUT OF ME BECAUSE THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE. The day after he was born, that one thing was to sleep for a month. But anyways, you get the idea.
Now, of course, the going-into-labor part of the question doesn't apply, but I still ask myself a similar question. At the end of the day, what will be important to be to have accomplished? Some days, honestly, the answer to that is just REST. Some days it is just laying in bed with my sweet son and laughing. That's valid. Those things count.
Today I chose to spend my precious the-baby-is-happily-asleep, I-still-have-energy-from-the-morning-cup-of-coffee time on the bathroom cabinets because it is what I have fallen asleep wishing was done lately.
And so today I have done one thing. There are many things I have not done. The kitchen is still a disaster, the laundry is still in the dryer, and for some reason the pan of pita chips that I accidentally (yes, accidentally) made yesterday is laying on the bedroom floor. Our bathroom cabinets, however, are a glorious sight to behold. It's small, but it counts. There is still a long to-do list, but I did one thing, and one thing is still something.
Besides, so often it is those little things that brighten moments. And when I finish writing this and go get ready to leave the house, I will open up the bathroom drawer and see things that make me happy. I will see something beautifully organized, for starters. And I will also see the the lipstick tin, which has the same print that my curtains did when I was a little girl. I will see the tray from an old jewelry box full of old hairpins that I almost never wear, but love to look at. Those things- those incredibly little things- while not being important in the grand scale of my life, are still nice in the moment.
I want to delight in the moment.
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