When I was about eleven years old I went to summer camp for the first time. Before my sister and I left, my mother talked to us about something. She explained that we needed to mindful of our behavior at camp, not only because it is important to be kind and respectful, but also because we would be a representation of both our family and Christ to the people around us. That stuck with me.
Now, with so many of us daily browsing and posting to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs such as this, our representation is no longer limited to the people we are around in person- it is far-reaching, even global at times. It is certainly a far more widespread representation of yourself to post on the internet than it is to say something in person; on the internet, the dozens or hundreds of people you are connected with may see it. That is an enormous audience.
I feel very strongly that we need to be mindful of that audience, of that representation, but I have struggled with what exactly that looks like on a day-to-day basis in my life. Simply knowing those 376 Facebook friends are out there (yes, I did have to check my profile to find that number) is not enough. I must be intentional in exactly how I communicate with them. Most of those 376 people I do not talk to directly, yet the mere fact that they all MIGHT see a status I post means I really ought to take them all into consideration.
At first I thought this didn't matter. I felt entitled to post whatever I felt like; whatever I thought was funny, important, interesting; whatever I was thinking or doing. What I didn't realize was just how embarrassingly selfish and arrogant it really was to think that I was the only person I ought to be considerate of.
After a time, I felt convicted that since I am openly a believer and follower of Christ, I need to represent Him well- including on the internet. I began trying to be more encouraging, upbeat, and Christ-centered in what I posted. While this was good, I found myself being a bit fake at times. Bad days still happened, and I didn't always respond to them with grace, so why pretend on Tumblr that I did?
So I resolved to be more transparent. This CAN be a good thing, but isn't always- it made me a bit careless and whiny at times. After much thought and soaking up wisdom from the book of Proverbs for a year, here is where I stand on the matter now. I am so very, very far from perfect, so I say all of this simply to share what I have learned...and really, what I am still learning.
Before I post something, I take into consideration four things. At first I had to intentionally think through each of these points before I posted anything. Eventually you do it without even really thinking about it; you just train yourself to pause before you post.
1. I consider the range of people that will view it.
For me, it's an incredibly wide range. From alcoholics to those who see consuming any alcohol to be sinful; outspoken liberals to outspoken conservatives; high school kids to grandparents; gay, straight, black, white, atheist, Catholic, Christian, Jewish, rich, poor, and many middle-of-the-road.
Would swearing (even "to be funny" or "to make a point") offend even one of those people? Yes. So I don't swear. This was a tough one for me to swallow at one time, because I felt like it didn't really matter. What it came down to, though, was that even if it wouldn't offend me...it wasn't about ME. Huh, imagine. I, Sarah, I am not the most important person in the world...or on Facebook.
2. I consider what I am trying to communicate, and if that is made clear in what I am about to post.
I might think it's funny the way my husband does something, but if there's risk of my post coming across as complaining about him or mocking him, I don't post it. Yes, sometimes Arthur frustrates me, but a Facebook status is never the place for that- a loving, gracious conversation with my husband is. (Not all of those conversations are as loving or gracious as they ought to be...but God is growing me daily in that!)
3. I consider if the post accurately portrays me and my life.
My REAL life, not the one I want it to look like I have on Instagram. This has been the hardest one to stay true to. It has led to photos in which I don't crop out the messy kitchen, messy everywhere-else-in-the-house, and messy ME.
It has led to posts about the parenting moments I am not so proud of; the days when things aren't fun; the nights that my "amazing hubby" doesn't cook me a "incredible gourmet meal" that we eat "with music and candlelight." Sometimes we have dinner like that. Sometimes we have cereal in bed. I need to be equally open about each type of dining experience...because that's real life.
4. Lastly, and by far the most importantly, I consider whether or not what I am about to post is God-glorifying, both in it's content and in my intent.
Some days are rough. I want to be honest and transparent about that, but I ALSO want to be God-glorifying in how I respond to bad days. "Life sucks and everything is horrible and I hate my neighbors" is not God-glorifying. Yes, it IS how I feel sometimes, but it doesn't help anyone- especially me- to post that on Twitter. Sloshing around in the mud of my sinful attitude won't help clean my attitude up, it just gets other people muddy.
So in the midst of hard things that I would rather not talk about at all (such as postpartum depression, which isn't cute on me) I must remember to be open and honest about times of trial, without dwelling on the trial. I have found that when I am intentional about this, it encourages me! I am reminded to hold fast to the joy that I have in Christ Jesus in the midst of trials when I actually type those words out in addition to be real about how hard the trials truly can be.
Being intentionally God-glorifying also goes for my intent in posting about my bad day in the first place. If my reason for updating my status is to be honest- not pretending to be superwoman/wife/mother, but sharing my struggles and encouraging others who may be struggling as well, that is great. But if I post simply to whine, have a pity party, and seek attention and sympathy, then I have to hit backspace. There is no good accomplished by being self-centered with my audience.
The balance between being transparent and being God-glorifying is the hardest part for me. It seems that many Christians are trying to push against being fake, holier-than-thou, hypocritical and pretentious. I am so glad. God hates a lying tongue, and I think it's safe to assume that He therefore also hates a lying tweet.
But if in pushing against hypocrisy and pride we become careless in our speech and thoughtless in our representation of Christ, we will find ourselves in a whole new struggle, and a whole new sin.
As in all things, we need to carefully (and with much prayer, and much Scripture) examine our hearts. We need to seek to represent Him well. We all have issues and we all screw up, yes. Absolutely. But just talking about what a wreck I am won't do anybody any good unless I also talk about how God is redeeming me and sanctifying me as well! Should we be honest about our failings? Definitely! But not without also pointing to our Savior.
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