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"A will to live, and to not forget"

  I am a remarkable human being in my ability to forget.
  Remembering is something that is important to me. It’s something I value. "Thank You…for a life and a mind and a heart and a will to live, and to not forget, and a will to write it all down," I have sung to myself, yet I am so quick to forget the goodness of my God and so quick instead to remember only the things that surround me and threaten to tear me down.
  We must be eternity-minded. Focusing only on temporal things will always depress me, it will always cause me to be terrified and make me want to run away or drive until I find the end of all the highways. When I try again and again to be who I am called to be using only my own feeble willpower, it always results in me curling up on the floor of a closet or a bathroom or a copy room to cry and hope I fall asleep and don’t wake up for days.
  My boyfriend read me the second and third chapters of Colossians today, and in verse 2 of chapter 3 Paul says, "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." It’s hard to do, isn’t it? It’s so easy to think that the laundry, the banking, and that thing your boss said to get done by Friday are the priorities. I often confuse doing good things with doing the most important things, but the truth is that planning out what games we play at the youth group party is not nearly as important as the seven minute conversation with one of my youth about unconditional love. Both are good, but one is temporal and the other is of eternal value.
  I am quick to forget the difference between the temporal and the eternal. I am quick to forget how blessed I am, and how much God has grown me and stretched me, and how He has worked in me and through me for His glory. I am quick to remember instead the fears and disappointments and shortcomings that seek to haunt me. 
  God has given me dozens and dozens of opportunities to speak into the lives of so many children and youth each day and encourage them. He has given me place in their lives to speak truth, to tell them that they are wonderfully created, and show them that they are valued. My Father has provided incredible friends to hear me out when I am overwhelmed, a family that loves me, and a boyfriend that makes me laugh when I’m crying. I do not need to fear- my God has always been faithful to me, and I will be faithful to Him. He will enable me to do great things in His name, for His glory.
  These are the things that I am choosing to remember.

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