Step 1: Give them a little taste of something familiar. Perhaps use a scene so reminiscent of the year 1999 that it is practically the cover of the Backstreet Boys “Millenium” album come to life. Be sure to appear out of thin air and have some box fans built into the wall behind you for unneccesary effect.
Step 2: Start slow. Begin the song by talking. It really doesn’t matter what you say, as long as your hair is a foot tall while you’re saying it, and it builds into actual singing while you use flashy hand motions at the exact same moment.
Step 3: Wear lots of outfits. Make sure you give your audience an opportunity to see you wearing a white space suit, black leather with enough chains and grommets to build a chainsaw out of, and something you think the typical high school student would wear- just to be relatable.
Step 4: Feature a nice car. It’s ok if the car has no bearing on the video whatsoever, just step out of it or sit in front of it for a few seconds here and there.
Step 5: Have some backing vocals. Preferably female, if you’re a boy band.
Step 6: Get the right combination of band members. You’ll need The Blonde One, The Brunette One, The Ethnic One, The One with Too Much Make-up, and The Lead. (The Lead can be pretty much anyone, as long as they know how to spike their hair, use hand gestures, and raise their eyebrows.)
Step 7: Scene is everything. Be sure to feature cliche teen-scene shots- such as a bedroom with lots of posters, a skate park, high school hallways, or chilling in alleys with brick walls and attractive lighting. Editing in little things like sound waves coming from the speakers of a stereo are always a plus, as well.
Step 8: Abdomens are in. So if you have a bro with a nice one, be sure to feature him shirtless for a few seconds. Now, you want to keep this PG, so be sure to keep his pants pulled up and maybe clothe him in a discreet vest or unzipped hooded sweatshirt during these shots.
Step 9: Be classic. Some things never get old, so use lots of headshots, varying backgrounds, cliche dance moves, hair dye, poor lip synching, and show clips of supposed fangirls dancing along.
Step 10: Use a number in your band name. Seriously, just do it. Nothing says sincere, down-to-earth, real guys like using a numeral in place of the English language.
Step 11: Lyrical content. FOOLED YOU! This doesn’t matter at all. As long as you follow my fool-proof advice above, no one should be listening to the words anyways. You can sing about never saying never (even though you just did, twice), the days of the week, Facebook, or even stepping into hot lava.
Well, there you have it! Now you know how to fool people into thinking that your music video is good when it actually causes temporary mental paralysis. If you need any further inspiration, watch THIS VIDEO which brilliantly models everything I’ve just taught you.
Now, go forth and create!
Step 2: Start slow. Begin the song by talking. It really doesn’t matter what you say, as long as your hair is a foot tall while you’re saying it, and it builds into actual singing while you use flashy hand motions at the exact same moment.
Step 3: Wear lots of outfits. Make sure you give your audience an opportunity to see you wearing a white space suit, black leather with enough chains and grommets to build a chainsaw out of, and something you think the typical high school student would wear- just to be relatable.
Step 4: Feature a nice car. It’s ok if the car has no bearing on the video whatsoever, just step out of it or sit in front of it for a few seconds here and there.
Step 5: Have some backing vocals. Preferably female, if you’re a boy band.
Step 6: Get the right combination of band members. You’ll need The Blonde One, The Brunette One, The Ethnic One, The One with Too Much Make-up, and The Lead. (The Lead can be pretty much anyone, as long as they know how to spike their hair, use hand gestures, and raise their eyebrows.)
Step 7: Scene is everything. Be sure to feature cliche teen-scene shots- such as a bedroom with lots of posters, a skate park, high school hallways, or chilling in alleys with brick walls and attractive lighting. Editing in little things like sound waves coming from the speakers of a stereo are always a plus, as well.
Step 8: Abdomens are in. So if you have a bro with a nice one, be sure to feature him shirtless for a few seconds. Now, you want to keep this PG, so be sure to keep his pants pulled up and maybe clothe him in a discreet vest or unzipped hooded sweatshirt during these shots.
Step 9: Be classic. Some things never get old, so use lots of headshots, varying backgrounds, cliche dance moves, hair dye, poor lip synching, and show clips of supposed fangirls dancing along.
Step 10: Use a number in your band name. Seriously, just do it. Nothing says sincere, down-to-earth, real guys like using a numeral in place of the English language.
Step 11: Lyrical content. FOOLED YOU! This doesn’t matter at all. As long as you follow my fool-proof advice above, no one should be listening to the words anyways. You can sing about never saying never (even though you just did, twice), the days of the week, Facebook, or even stepping into hot lava.
Well, there you have it! Now you know how to fool people into thinking that your music video is good when it actually causes temporary mental paralysis. If you need any further inspiration, watch THIS VIDEO which brilliantly models everything I’ve just taught you.
Now, go forth and create!
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