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Week 33: I'm only in this for the baby.

  People keep telling me to enjoy pregnancy while it lasts. I smile, I nod, but what I am really thinking is something more like this: Sure, I enjoy it as much as I can, but I want a lot of kids. I could be pregnant like EIGHT MORE TIMES. The miracle of life is great, but some of this just sucks, ok?
  Because it does. Sometimes pregnancy sucks. I don’t hate being pregnant, but I don’t always love it either. But guess what? I’m not pregnant for pregnancies sake. I haven’t longed for this time for years because I was super excited for killer nausea, having my hips decided to quit mid-step, and packing on weight all summer. Being pregnant is awesome because you get a baby at the end!
  The baby is the point. It is a blessing that God does not waste the waiting period that comes before the baby, and so pregnancy- in all it’s challenging glory- has brought with it many opportunities for growth and choosing to glorify God even when things suck. However when it is all said and done, in 6-8 more weeks we will have a baby.
  That’s what makes it worth it.  That’s what I thought about during the 3 or 4 months that I spent face down over the toilet bowl. That’s what I reminded myself of during the “Sarah looks super chubby but not at all pregnant” phase. That’s what I hung on to throughout that moment that would come every week or two where I felt like screaming, “What fresh new piece of torment is THIS? Seriously? THIS happens TOO?”  Every time I threw myself onto the bed (more and more gingerly over time…now I just kind of dramatically waddle-and-roll into bed) and moaned, “What is wrong with meeeee?” Arthur always gave me the same answer. He smiled and kissed my cheek and said, “You’re pregnant, and we get a baby after all of this.” And once in a while I would bury my face in a pillow and yell that the baby needed to give me a break because pregnancy sucks, but usually his reminder would force me to smile back and refocus on that: The tiny miracle that God has so graciously and generously blessed us with.
  So if you are pregnant and everything sucks, first of all, I’m sorry and I understand. More importantly, though, remember why this is worth it. Because it is, I promise.
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