I just realized that my last few posts have enumerated many of the less-than-delightful side effects of pregnancy.
So I want to take a moment to list off some of the things that this pregnancy has improved- improved to the point where I feel I am verging on superhuman.
Weight Loss: That’s right- LOSS. Turns out, two solid months of non-stop nausea and vomiting on a eerily regular schedule can actually lead to dropping a few pounds. Or almost ten pounds, in my case.
Now I am entering the healthy weight gain stage, but that does not lessen the feeling of success I have after the first trimester.
Human Noise Machine: Granted, the noises I can produce at inhuman volumes are a select few- namely, belching and uncontrollable sobbing- but boy, if a 7th grade boy challenges me to a belch-off, I can SO win that. And if I get lost in the wilderness, I will easily be found by the sound of hormonal wailing over nothing.
Which brings me to…
Never Get Lost in the Wilderness- For Long: Because of that loud sobbing that I just mentioned, above.
All-You-Can-Eat, 24-7: See, this child I’m growing inside me is taking HUGE developmental strides, like, constantly. And that requires a lot of nutrients. So I now eat about 6-8 small, healthy, balanced meals a day. And then one or two unhealthy snacks. In fact, the only time I stop eating for more than an hour or two is for this…
Best Sleep of My Life: At least for now, I sleep soundly for ten or eleven hours every night/morning/late morning (all of them- I sleep a LOT.) I have always considered myself a pro sleeper, but this really is the deepest sleep of my life. And it’s not boring, because…
Dreams Crazier than TV: Sci-fi, drama, reality TV- it all pales in comparison to the dramatic and imaginative reaches my dreams attain.
New Appreciation for High Heels: Something about the bloating, tummy expansion, and breakouts really makes a gorgeous, feminine pair of shoe all the more attractive. Immediate confidence boost- not to mention that extra two inches of height can help you feel slimmer.
Oh, and there is a TINY PERSON GROWING INSIDE ME: Which is amazing, a bit terrifying, miraculous, and beautiful all at once.
Do I feel superhuman? Not most of the time. Am I superhuman? Quite possibly. Either way, pregnancy is pretty incredible, all things considered.
First of all, I was created unique from anyone who has ever lived or ever will live. Also, I like to make up really strange dance moves. Dancing horribly is something I am remarkably good at. I have treed a squirrel. Like, without the help of a hunting dog- just treed it on my own. I chased it for a few minutes, chirping at it in what I hoped was a macho-squirrel manner, until it finally became afraid for it’s life. I can sing like a male opera singer. Quite well, believe it or not. It’s surprisingly addictive, and when I start doing it subconsciously in public places things can get very awkward very fast. However, it takes a lot to embarass me. I try to make a habit or embarassing myself regularly enough that embarassment doesn’t put a damper on my day. I have this wonderful ability to talk in a very annoying, squeaky voice- lots of people can do this, but I can laugh in that voice, and the sound of it makes me laugh harder, and so forth. It’s great. I can go fr...
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