I can’t be or do everything for everyone all of the time- or even part of the time!
I can’t come to every event or fulfill every favor asked of me.
I can’t always be as flexible with my time or my schedule as you’d like.
I can’t stop, drop, and make things work out for you at the cost of me sleeping, eating, or actually walking at a normal pace instead of literally RUNNING to my car in order to only be a FEW minutes late.
I can’t do everything you want me to, be everywhere you want me to be, or support everyone in every way all of the time.
I can’t, and what’s more, I WON’T.
Hello world, I am done trying to please all of your occupants at the exact same time.
I will get at least six hours of sleep and refuse to constantly run on caffiene.
I will eat three meals a day, and none of them will be out of a vending machine.
I will sit in the sun, have real conversations, and take time to be still before the Lord- if I can even remember how to be still.
I will try to support you, love you, be there for you, and fulfill my responsibilities to the best of my abilities, but not at the cost of my life.
I will recognize that my problems deserve my attention, too, not just everyone else’s.
I will be angry or sad or irritable or apathetic or exhausted or fed up or overwhelmed when I AM, instead of acting like I can manage everything.
When I’m sick, I will sleep on the couch instead of putting on my high heels and faking it.
When I’m at a loss for words in the middle of a situation, I’ll stop making things up and just shut up instead.
This is me.
This is the end of my rope.
This is my calendar, so full I literally am running out of space even in the margins.
This is my schedule, constantly changing and making me want to punch things.
This is what is asked of me- more than I can handle, because people are used to me stretching and making it work, because I always have.
Not any more, sweethearts.
I’m done stretching myself so thin I’m see-through.
I’m done pretending a handful of peanuts has enough protein to count as a meal.
I’m done putting what I want to do last so that I can’t do everything for everyone else first.
I am going to drive slower, eat slower, walk slower, talk slower, pray slower, think slower, and be as slow as I want to when I respond to your text messages because I am confident that the world will not end if I don’t answer your question within thirty seconds.
Tomorrow, if I’m late that will be ok.
If I don’t look my best that will be ok.
If I’m not in a pleasant mood that, too, will be ok.
SuperSarah just died, kids, and the real girl is coming out.
At some point in the past few months my phone started notifying me of my Bible app's verse of the day. It was super annoying, because I'm prideful and I don't like to be helped or reminded- I can remember to read the Bible ON MY OWN, thank you very much. And, I don't want to read what cutesy verses you picked out, app, I'll go find something really amazing to read ON MY OWN. Get it? Hear me? I'm fine, on my own. Like I said, I am prideful. I would be more ashamed to admit it, except that I really want to make this clear: I AM SUCH A SINNER. I thought I'd been saying this, but maybe it hasn't been clear. My sin is like, all over the place. I sin every day. It's usually based in pride or selfishness. -BUT- My sin is not the end of the story. God was merciful towards me, showed me my sin, and saved me. He has caused change in my heart and my life that I never could have accomplished on my own- and I know that with certainty, because I DID try on...
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