I believe that God’s grace is actually sufficient. For everyone. And everything. No matter how horrible, how unimaginably cruel, how disgusting. Sin is sin. I am no better than a rapist. I am no better than a murderer. I am no better than anyone else. I feel the full weight of that as I type it- the fact that I am not worth more than someone who would rape an innocent human being is horrifying to me. And yet it is true. My sins are no more acceptable than that.
And I do not think that it is alright for me to hate someone because their sin is more horrifying to me than my own sin. First of all, my own sin should disgust me- it is, after all, dirty and ugly and real- and I should fully realize that I am only free from it NOT BY OWN MERIT but by the grace of God.
I am not free from my sins because I had a good upbringing. It’s not because I go to church. It’s not because I vote right or help old ladies at the grocery store or am nice to people. It’s because Christ paid for my sins so that I don’t have to. Christ DIED for my sins so that I don’t have to.
And so, logically, if my sin is as ugly as ALL sin and nothing about ME frees me from that sin, I am no better than anyone else. And if I am no better than anyone else…then I can’t hate them.
Hate is ugly. It takes root in your heart and it hangs on tightly, growing into crevices like a weed. There is nothing honorable about hatred. If I hate someone for committing a murder, I AM SINNING. Their sin is still very real, and very horrible- but so is mine. Equally so.
I am not excusing what is wrong. Rape, murder- these are hideous, hideous acts that should continued to be punishable by law. I am not arguing with that. I am simply saying that I cannot hate someone for doing something like that. I can- and, I believe, should- hate what they did. I can hate that sin, and mourn the damage it has caused. But by no means does another persons sin give me license to hate that person.
At some point in the past few months my phone started notifying me of my Bible app's verse of the day. It was super annoying, because I'm prideful and I don't like to be helped or reminded- I can remember to read the Bible ON MY OWN, thank you very much. And, I don't want to read what cutesy verses you picked out, app, I'll go find something really amazing to read ON MY OWN. Get it? Hear me? I'm fine, on my own. Like I said, I am prideful. I would be more ashamed to admit it, except that I really want to make this clear: I AM SUCH A SINNER. I thought I'd been saying this, but maybe it hasn't been clear. My sin is like, all over the place. I sin every day. It's usually based in pride or selfishness. -BUT- My sin is not the end of the story. God was merciful towards me, showed me my sin, and saved me. He has caused change in my heart and my life that I never could have accomplished on my own- and I know that with certainty, because I DID try on...
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