1. A certain percentage of my wardrobe is simply on-hand in case I should ever need to clothe myself and several friends in 80’s attire.
This, I must confess, I am rather proud of.
2. I own far more knee socks than a 21-year-old woman needs.
How many knees do I think I have?
How many Pippi Longstockings Events was I planning on attending?
No one needs this many striped knee-highs.
3. I have five pairs of black tights.
They are all different.
They all serve different purposes in an outfit.
Therefore, they are all justifiable.
4. …Then again, I can justify my way into keeping anything, which is why I have jeans that won’t button anymore, socks with more holes than actual fabric, and a skirt that my grandmother gave me when I was 12.
5. There will never be a time when I need to have 30 t-shirts at one time, for anything, ever.
It is just too many.
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