Sarah Anne I Am

First of all, I was created unique from anyone who has ever lived or ever will live. Also, I like to make up really strange dance moves. Dancing horribly is something I am remarkably good at. I have treed a squirrel. Like, without the help of a hunting dog- just treed it on my own. I chased it for a few minutes, chirping at it in what I hoped was a macho-squirrel manner, until it finally became afraid for it’s life. I can sing like a male opera singer. Quite well, believe it or not. It’s surprisingly addictive, and when I start doing it subconsciously in public places things can get very awkward very fast. However, it takes a lot to embarass me. I try to make a habit or embarassing myself regularly enough that embarassment doesn’t put a damper on my day. I have this wonderful ability to talk in a very annoying, squeaky voice- lots of people can do this, but I can laugh in that voice, and the sound of it makes me laugh harder, and so forth. It’s great. I can go fr...

Dad: Is that one guy going to be there? Me: No, I don’t think so. Dad: Why not? Me: I don’t know. Maybe he’s working, maybe he doesn’t want to, maybe he’s secretly in another country. Dad: Well, I don’t think he’s in another country, I was just talking to his dad about him last week. Me: Exactly! His dad is trying to cover for him! He’s probably illegally importing ivory. He’s probably killing elephants in Africa as we speak. Dad: I think it’s dark in Africa right now. Me: Night is the perfect time to illegally kill elephants. Dad: You just spotlight them, huh? Me: Yep, and they freeze, just like deer. Dad: Oh, you have quite the imagination. My father and I talking on the phone

Sarah: So I was walking in the park, right? And this penguin comes up to me, right? And he’s like, “You alright?” and I’m like, “Yah, I’m tight,” and he’s like, “What about the shark bite?” And then…IturnedaroundandhalfofmyheadwasmissingandthenIdied. Anna: So I was walking down the road and today and this monkey comes up to me and says, “Hey,” and I say, “Hey,” and he says, “You okay?” and I say, “I’d be wrong if I said nay,” and he says, “Didn’t I tell you I’d make you pay?” And then…IturnedaroundandheshotmeinthebackandIdied. This is what happens when my sister and I text each other from seperate rooms in our house.

Miss Sarah: Paul, please stop making such loud, scary dinosaur noises. Make nice dinosaur noises, you’re scaring the girls. Paul: *sigh* Miss Sarah, we’re allosauruses. This is how we communicate. Pre-K on the playground